I got an idea for a new short story this morning while I was in and out of sleep! It was a half-conscious idea that I somehow kept developing upon while I was dozing. I think they call that lucid dreaming or something, but I am not sure. Do not quote me on that, but it was a fantastic idea, regardless of my state of consciousness at the time. I began writing an outline for it and then writing the actual story about an hour and a half ago. I am not very far into it, but it, being a short story, will not be of great length, anyway, so that is okay. I wrote just enough of an outline to let my character take shape and talk to me as I write. I know. It sounds odd. I do, however, allow my characters to talk to me, to let me know if I am making them do something out of character (no pun intended), to let them lead me in their speech and dialogue with others in the story, and to tell me how the story develops, even how it ends. Characters get what they need, not what they want, and that is so very rewarding at times, and so frustrating at others. I will think of a great line for a character, but they are not the kind of character that would use it sometimes. I will come up with a wonderful plot, but the characters that I have in mind are not the types of characters that would do such things, and I have to adjust for that in my stories. I know that it sounds absolutely insane, but all of these characters are part of me, and to write the story, I have to find the part of myself that would do those things, that would say those things, that is this character or that character in the story. That can be disturbing. It can be funny. It can be a lot of things. I can insert myself altogether into the story or I can keep my distance as God and just let the story be told by the characters themselves, but in any case, I have to write the whole of it, and that means that I have to be there in some capacity. All of this comes out of my mind. That can be very unsettling, depending on what is going on in the story, but it is oddly satisfying and cathartic at the same time. I am not sure why that is, but it makes me feel better to write, just as it makes me feel better to climb, so I continue doing it. Whatever works, I guess.
I have a telemedicine appointment with my doctor coming up in just under a half an hour, so I hope to have lunch before then, but if that does not happen, then I will not be too bad off for it. I do not feel terribly well today–physically, that is. I feel very low in energy and have the sniffles a bit, so I am not going to go to visit my friends after my appointment today. I am going to go and get my bills and any packages that are at my apartment and visit my husband, but then I am coming back to my mother’s house to work on my story some more. I am rather excited about how this particular story is taking shape. I have an idea where it is going as far as the ending is concerned, but the guts of the story–the middle–is up for grabs as to how it takes shape. That is exciting to me. So my mood is neutral right now. I do wish that I could continue my story right now, but it might be better to allow it to marinate a bit, too. More ideas may come to me as I allow time to pass on the plot. It has an odd twist at the end for a resolution and I love writing stories that have that odd twist at the end! Those are some of the most satisfying stories to read and even more special to write. What I have learned about writing, I have learned from my doctor and from the MasterClass I took online by Neil Gaiman on storytelling, which was amazing. I highly recommend Neil Gaiman’s MasterClass on storytelling because he breaks down for you those things that writers would never otherwise tell you about how stories come about and become bestsellers on the racks of the bookstores. My doctor recommended that particular course to me, as well.
My doctor and I have an interesting crossing of paths. I wanted to be a doctor, and have instead become a writer. He wanted to be a writer, and instead became a doctor. It is odd how our individual lives play out, but to meet a person who is the exact thing you wanted to become and be the exact thing that they wanted to become is somewhat absurd! Strange, but true. My doctor and I have a solid therapeutic relationship as a result. We can speak psych-speak without there being much or any confusion, and we can speak med-speak because we are both educated in it. We communicate very well, and that makes therapy much more helpful when that is the case. It also fosters a sense of trust, which is vital. I do not have to belabor the point about trust, I am sure, especially if you have ever tried to open your mind to someone. You do not want just anyone poking around in there! It could be dangerous for both of you. It is a great thing to have a great doctor that you can trust and talk to about a range of issues, though. Sometimes, you find the right one, and that is something to appreciate deeply. Never take that kind of thing for granted. Never.