I slept for 13 ½ hours last night. All night. Not that I did not have nightmares, because I did, but that amount of sleep is pretty unheard of for me. I had some genuine visions last night, though — insights that were mixed in with the ugliness of it all. Today, I feel differently about a few things that have bothered me for literally decades. I do not know why it happens that way, but sometimes it does. As long as some peace can be found amidst this chaos, let it be so, I guess. It is the process of my broken mind trying to straighten out an apocalyptic set of events that shattered order and reality into trillions of tiny shards, each of which could pierce and utterly destroy my remaining sanity at any given moment. Are we all this fragile? The answer, like it or not, is YES. You may not agree, but under the right set of circumstances, it could happen to you. Mental illness can strike anyone…
Let us switch to another topic. I ordered a pair of La Sportiva Solution Comp climbing shoes early this afternoon. I found a pair in my size, and these things are selling like hot cakes, so I had to grab them up while they were available. I have been looking for them for quite some time, now, but everyone is always sold out of my climbing shoe size. I finally found a site that had my shoe size and I seized the moment! It was an expensive moment, but a moment, nonetheless. It will take more than a moment to pay that purchase off, but I am hoping that the shoe performance will be worth it when I receive them and when I am finally able to go climbing again. This is the primary reason that I want the pandemic to just disappear. Climbing. I need to climb, not only for my mental health, but for my physical health. My life is not the same without it. Climbing is my primary health and well-being activity, and it is actually a legitimate treatment for my PTSD — Doctors Orders and the whole bit. I actually have a prescription for climbing! I find myself depressed, anxious, and generally unhealthy mentally without climbing, and my physique is not benefitting from sitting at home without the ability to go out and do what the Governor deems “non-essential” activities, such as climbing. The justification for that is that, should I need medical assistance in the event of an accident occurring, I would draw critical medical attention away from COVID-19 patients by requiring medical personnel to rescue me. Does that not sound like I am less important than a COVID-19 patient? I understand the premise, and the pandemic is not anything that anyone planned to my knowledge, but I am not planning on having any accidents climbing, either, and I am simply trying to take care of my mental and physical health by engaging in this activity, although it does happen to be inherently dangerous with the distinct risk of serious harm or death. This could be argued from any side until everyone was blue in the face, but I know what I need to remain sane and healthy, and climbing is it! Writing about climbing is almost as good with a Stay-At-Home directive in place, but not quite. Know what I mean? It’s like a hug over the internet. Not quite the same…. Regardless, I am really looking forward to trying out my new Solution Comp climbing shoes when they arrive! My hope is that they will be the last little improvement upon my favorite shoes of all time and be just the ticket to send to my heart’s content!
So what is your favorite or most-needed activity for your mental and physical health? I would like to hear from you! I often wonder what gets people going the way that climbing gets me going. Comment and let me know! It does not matter how mundane or silly it may seem. I am genuinely interested. And to everyone, please, do not make fun of anyone’s wellness behaviors. I want this to be a clean, engaging exercise in sharing. Thank you in advance for your cooperation.
Good news or bad news, I do not know, but the Stay-At-Home directive expired yesterday here in Montana, and the county health official is not arguing with it. On Monday, Phase One reopenings will begin. I expect this to be short-lived, and I also expect us to be under another Stay-At-Home directive within a week to a week and a half of this Phase One reopening strategy. We just cannot handle ourselves under these “new norms” yet. I know we cannot. Seventy percent of our state’s residents think that it is too soon. I contribute to that 70%. I am not afraid of the disease for myself. I am afraid of the disease for those I love who have loved ones who could die from it, or who could die from it themselves. We just do not know enough about this virus yet, nor do we know how to conduct ourselves in spite of it yet. The other side of the coin is that our economy cannot sustain being “closed” any longer. We have to get it up and running, and we have to do it now if we want any businesses at all to survive, especially in Montana, where we have many small businesses and are such a rural state. It is not an easy decision, but a pandemic does not draw fair battle lines, either. It has no code of conduct and it has no mercy. We have to deal with this “enemy” as we are able. That means casualties, unfortunately. We will beat this virus, though. There is no doubt in my mind about that! It is going to take some time, and I am sure that it will take some “guinea pig” states and countries to test out what works and what does not, but we will beat this. Together.