My psychiatrist asked this question of me yesterday in an attempt to get me to think through my neurotransmitter flood. “I’m not giving up on you, so I don’t want you giving up on yourself, either, okay? Fair?” he had said. I told him that was fair. “I can see that your limbic system has sucked your frontal lobes dry.” A reference to my inability to think rationally and having an intense and long-lasting emotional reaction. “What helps?” he asked. Climbing. “Okay, climbing — being at the gym, and if you can get on the wall, that’s even better. So, being at the gym. What else?” I couldn’t think. “What about some of these people you’ve helped? Can you maybe call in some chips? Say, ‘Hey, I just need to spend some time?’ What else could you do? I think you can do this without the hospital, but the hospital’s always an option for safety. But I think you can do this without the hospital?” No hospital. I can do this without the hospital. “Okay. I’m going to be out of town, but I’ll have my phone on. There really are some dead spots where my phone won’t work, but…”. I know. (Dead spots for cell service in Montana are widespread). “Okay.” Handshake. “See you Monday?” Yes, Sir. Thank you.
I got on the wall at the climbing gym today, meaning that I taped up, got my climbing shoes on, chalked up, and climbed some. It was a real mood-booster. I was among friends at the gym — Meagen, Dian, Chad, McKenzie, Jim, Heath — and that was a good feeling. I had called at about a quarter ’til 1000 hrs and talked to McKenzie to make sure she was working and that the gym wasn’t swarming with people before getting in my truck and driving into Billings. I was excited to climb! I actually felt that spirit of enthusiasm coursing through my veins at the thought of getting my climbing shoes on, chalking up, and getting some vertical movement in. That broke the Depression. I’m so thankful for my doctor and my climbing buddies! So thankful that I can still climb after that motor vehicle accident last year! What a miracle!
I want to give you, my readers, a shout out, too, because your views and likes and comments really make my day every day! Blogging rates up there with climbing and you, my readers, make that possible and worthwhile. Thank you!