Cutting back on the meds – an insider’s view

So, right now, I feel like it’s about 120ºF in the house with the fan blowing straight on me and it’s only actually 70ºF with a lot of humidity.  My body’s not happy at all with me not having my antipsychotic medication today.  I feel feverish, but in that roasting-to-death way.  I’ve been in the bunker (in bed) almost all day.  My mom and I went for a walk this morning at just after 0500 hrs, and another at around 1100 hrs.  The longer I go without my medication, the worse I feel.  I don’t feel significantly different motivation-wise, but the restlessness has dialed back a bit.  I still have no motivation.  I would describe my feelings today as follows:

I had a dream – someone killed it.

I had another dream – someone killed it.

I have no dreams now

And there are no more assassins.

© 2019 Chris Jones

That being how I’ve felt more and more today, as the day has worn on, I called my doctor and he called me back for a coaching moment.  I was supposed to take a lower dose of my antipsychotic tomorrow, but we decided that I would skip a second day in a row of my antipsychotic and call him tomorrow afternoon, doing it day-by-day.  By Thursday, the half-life (and half-dose) level will have been reached if I don’t take the medication tomorrow.  We agreed to see how I feel and take it day-by-day.  I have to take my driver’s license renewal paperwork in tomorrow morning.  I’m going to have my mom go in with me for the appointment in case I can’t think straight.  There’s a real possibility of that happening, but it might not.  I’m not really sure what to expect at this point.  So far, I just feel miserable, to be honest.  I hate medication changes.  My body doesn’t respond well to them.  I just hope we find out soon what dose I need to be on so that I can get back to feeling motivated to climb!

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