My Bishop pointed out this Scripture to me as my Pop was dying in the hospital. It is Mosiah 4:9 from The Book of Mormon and reads as follows:
“Believe in God; believe that he is, and tht he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.” -Mosiah 4:9
This verse, along with the counsel of my Bishop, the kind condolences and advice of my climbing mentor Lou Renner, and the support of the MyClimb Challenge Team, have all gotten me this far in my grieving process. My psychiatrist went and visited my family in the hospital every day for the 10 days that my Pop was in there, which was a kindness I can never repay. All I can say is that I’m surrounded by awesome people doing compassionate things that matter on an eternal scale. I normally try to keep my spirituality out of the equation, overtly at least, on my blog, but here, I feel that it may help someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, especially someone close, to talk about it.
This verse expresses some things that I didn’t know how to put into words. I do believe in God. I do believe that He is, and that he has all power, all wisdom, and created everything. I also believe – and here’s what I want to point out to my readers – that there are certain things that we as human beings can’t comprehend. We can’t comprehend death. We may be resigned to it if we’ve had an extended illness or even hope for it while others dread it, but we cannot comprehend it. No one who has been through it can tell us what it’s like, or why we die when we do, or more importantly, why the sufffering that often occurs with long-term illness and aging happens prior to death. We simply can’t comprehend these things. I can’t wrap my head around why my Pop had to suffer what he did for 30 years, and then what he had to suffer and the decisions he had to make in the hospital at the end of his life. The Lord comprehends all of those things, though.
That said, I just want to say that, no matter what your spiritual bend, or even if you don’t have one, take heart. There’s someone out there who can help you in your time of need, and that can comprehend what you may not be able to wrap your head around. I have not questioned the why’s of my Pop’s circumstances. I know that my God has a plan, and everything happened as it was meant to. I may not be able to comprehend it (and indeed, I can’t), but I believe that my Pop is in a better place now, that he’s in good hands, and I know for a fact that he is no longer suffering. That, to me, is a relief. Rest easy, now, Pop. I love you.