Whoa! I slept for 12 hours last night! I decided to just turn the alarm off and go back to sleep this morning, and I usually wake up about an hour or so later. I didn’t wake up until 0900 hrs this morning! Twelve hours of sleep is unheard of for me! I had some dreams – no nightmares – and didn’t get woken up by them, so I managed 12 hours of much-needed (evidently) sleep. I still can’t get over the fact that I slept that long. That’s incredible! I haven’t slept that many continuous hours without nightmares for almost 20 years! I was so shocked when I looked at the clock that I woke my spouse up and asked him if it was actually 0900 hrs. When the response was, “Yes,” I felt panicked, like I was late for something, even though I don’t have anything going on today until 1130 hrs.
In thinking about that response, I feel like living in a constant state of fatigue makes you jumpy and leary of sleep, lest you accidentally get too much and miss an appointment or work or whatever you have going on in your life. I rushed around, going to the bathroom, weighing myself, washing my face, getting dressed, taking my medications (which were five hours overdue regarding my usual schedule, but no harm done), and getting ready for a lunch date that isn’t until 1130 hrs! Somehow, I feared I would be late for that because I wasn’t wide awake all night and suffering from nightmares. That’s PTSD for you.
Something that might have made the difference is having talked to my good friend and mentor Lou yesterday. He called to check up on me and offer me some encouragement. I always enjoy a call from a good friend, and Lou is one of the best. He’s been through many injuries and recovered, and he’s also one of my climbing buddies, so he understands having “stone in your blood”. He’s recovered from many terrible injuries and gone through a lot in life, and still climbs. He’s a climbing machine – climbs every day like I did, and will again. We kept losing the cell phone connection, but he kept calling back and we’d talk until we lost it again. I e-mailed him a follow-up to our conversation later yesterday afternoon. I look forward to seeing what he has to say about it. That conversation left me feeling encouraged and strengthened. I do have people in my life that care, and it does make such a huge difference and is very special to hear from them – to hear their voices and to know they’re still standing by you even though times are tough. So, to all my readers and all my friends, THANK YOU. You all mean a lot to me!