The Psych Eval is this morning…

Yes.  This morning.  I haven’t eaten.  I haven’t slept.  I haven’t been able to focus.  All that over this Mental Status Exam that I have this morning.  They notified me on 25 July 2018, and I’ve been getting more and more anxious since then.  Everything about it is unknown, and that’s one of the worst things you can do to a person with PTSD.  Unknown = no control.  No control over the situation = trigger for horrible PTSD symptoms.  Prolong that for three weeks, and you have someone who weighs a pound less today than they did yesterday, and two pounds less than they did the day before that.  Yes, you have someone who’s lost 15 lbs in the space of a few weeks.  The weight loss is good.  The way it was lost isn’t.  Stress is never a good way to lose weight, and lack of sleep is the sure path to disaster for a person, especially one that doesn’t sleep well and has nightmares about trauma anyway.  These Mental Status Exams (ie. Psych Evals) place undue stress on people who are trying to improve their lives and manage their illnesses.  I think, too, that it’s an insult to ask a physician, more specifically, the person’s psychiatrist who sees them twice a week for management of their PTSD in both a psychotherapy capacity and a medication management capacity, their professional opinion on the person’s mental health and function, and then order another Psych Eval on top of that to be performed by a professional with different expertise who doesn’t even know the person with PTSD in a strange place where you have to go through a security checkpoint in order to even enter the building.  This Psych Eval is going to be done by video, on top of it all.  I’ve never done a video evaluation, which makes me even more anxious.

In short, I’m a wreck this morning.  I can’t think.  I can’t do anything except watch the second hand of the clock make its rounds until it’s time to go try to find a parking spot Downtown, where there is only two-hour parking and/or no parking, which means I’ll either be fortunate and hope that this Psych Eval takes less than two hours or I’ll have to walk a mile in hopes that I can find a parking spot that’ll allow me to remain parked there longer than a few minutes in the eternal realm of time…  I don’t need to come from a Mental Status Exam to find that I have a ticket, or worse, that my truck has been towed!!!  Extreme, undue stress…  That’s my point.  Here’s a secret that might make sense to anyone who has any common sense – stress doesn’t help a person with PTSD cope better.  If you have PTSD, you know what I mean.  If you’re a professional who works with people who are diagnosed with PTSD, I WANT YOU TO TAKE NOTE OF THAT!!!  Piling on the stress and pressure doesn’t help people with PTSD manage their illness.  It makes it worse.  People with PTSD didn’t ask to have PTSD (no one would), or any other mental illness for that matter, and cruelty comes in the form of triggering the PTSD and giving the person diagnosed with it a hard time because of it.  Just a thought that everyone should consider.

Well, I have to get ready for this torture session.  I’m supposed to call my psychiatrist when it’s over.  Updates pending…

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