I’m going to start cataloguing bouldering problems as the route setters take down the old and put up the new. That way, I’ll be able to organize and plan my attack on how to send all of the problems I’m able before they get taken down and make a circuit of them if I want to. If there are some of greater difficulty that I want to try, I will know exactly when they were put up so that I know how long I have to project on them! This could definitely be therapeutic for me, too. Organizing ahead of time and writing it all down so that I have it in my head and can manage my time, energy, and life in general better. Goals. It will help me with goals, too. Most of all, though, it will help me to get past any climber’s block that I have. That’s the key. I need to be free of climber’s block so that I can maximize my time on the wall, and therefore maximize my happiness!!! The other stuff is all secondary to getting rid of climber’s block because if I can’t get on the wall, I can’t get that relief that I so desperately need from this Depression that I’m in. The Black Dog must die!!! That reference comes from a Facebook video in which the Black Dog (representing Depression) grows and grows until he takes up your entire life and is your entire world, and you have to push him back and regain control to get your life back.
Another thing I’m going to do is time myself from block-to-block as far as blocks to climbing go in the process of getting from thinking about going to the climbing gym to actually getting on the wall with all four limbs off the ground. For example, time in splits from the time it takes from the thought to being in my truck with my gear, from the time it takes me from getting into my truck to driving out of my parking space, from the time I get out of my parking space to the time I pull into the climbing gym’s parking space, from the time I get to the climbing gym’s parking space to the time I get out of my truck and enter the doors of the climbing gym, from the time I enter the inner door of the climbing gym to the time I put my gear in a cubby, from the time I put my gear in a cubby to the time I get my valuables put away in my locker and leave the bathroom, from the time I leave the bathroom and get my socks and boots off, from the time I get my socks and boots off and my pants rolled up to the time I get my gear out, from the time I get my gear out to the time I get my gear on (for example, how long it takes me to get my climbing shoes on), from the time I get my climbing shoes on and my hands chalked up to the time I look at the wall for my first problem, and from the time I look at my first problem to the time I get on the wall. That’s for starters. As those blocks are eliminated, I won’t have to time so many of them and it will become one smooth process again as I get back to climbing and overcome this Depression. I know it may sound stupid, but it’s serious business. If I can get on the wall, I’m getting the relief I need from the distress. If I never get to the wall, the distress and the PTSD and the Depression all continue to get worse and the climbing never happens. That’s why both the cataloguing of the problems on the wall and the timing between each block that I have are important. Depression can be that bad and worse. Depression is a block. I’m looking to overcome it!
In order to do all these timing checks, I’m going to have to write down ahead of time what steps to take to get through each task with rapid, pre-planned action. I’ll do that tonight in my Climbing, Training, and Tx Journal. Tomorrow, I’m planning on climbing. I NEED TO CLIMB!!!