It snowed yesterday and last night. Again. A lot. Grandma won’t be able to make it in on these slick roads with the wind blowing today, so guess who Squiggle Bug gets to hang out with…ME!!! I can only watch him part of the day, though, because I have an appointment and Uncle Jerrold has to work, so he’ll get to see Mommy the rest of the day. He’ll get to see all kinds of people at odd times today!!! Hopefully it doesn’t mess up his routine, but he’s pretty good at recovering. I have to leave about the time my mom said that he takes a long nap, so that’ll be a good transition if it goes smoothly. Again, hopefully it doesn’t mess up the little guy’s routine too bad.
No climbing for me today because the climbing gym’s closed on Mondays for setting. My doctor’s appointment is important because we need to talk about stress and meds some more. The double (and it happens to be the maximum) dose of antipsychotic is working really well – so well that I kind of like it and don’t really want to go back to the regular dose. The problem with that would be the additional weight gain, and Lord knows, I don’t need any more weight gain!!! I need weight loss in a bad way!!! I guess the Doc and I will figure out what needs to happen today. It’s a fluid motion thing. Tweak here, tweak there, temporary this, long-term that… We really don’t have that much flexibility with my medications. There’s a little bit, but not much because we’ve pretty much dialed-in the ideal combination of medications and doses for my illness. That took, and I’m not exaggerating, 12 years. I’ve been through just about every psychotropic medication you can name, plus a bunch that aren’t even psychotropics, searching for the right combination. My psychiatrists have really cared about me, as has my primary care doctor at the VA. They’ve worked hard to figure this out for me, and trust me, trying all of those meds that didn’t work for me was NOT fun. Side effects, no effects, ill effects – I had them all many times. So this conversation today with the Doc is an important one, as they all are, but it will be somewhat medication-focused.