The consequences of several consecutive non-climbing days

I haven’t been climbing since Thursday, during my training session with Mack.  I usually climb every day, with the exception of Sunday, and even some Sundays if I can get outside or go to the climbing gym two hours away.  Well, it’s Monday.  Three consecutive days of not climbing.  Since that is my main coping mechanism for PTSD and PTSD-related symptoms, guess what…  Yes.  It’s good that I see my doctor today.  I may go in and sit in his office at 0800 hrs and wait there until my appointment with him at 1300 hrs.  It’s that bad.  I will be glad when the new climbing gym is up and running.  I will be able to go climbing at 0600 hrs if I so desire!!!  More like if I so NEED to!!!  The nightmares I had last night still won’t leave my head (or my heart), and make me feel like a desperate and disgraced failure.  I won’t go into the details, but they were some of the worst I’ve had in a long time.  I need to go climbing right now, at 0528 hrs in the morning, to push this destructive, negative stuff out of the way and get some feel-good endorphins pulsing through my veins!!!  Hopefully my medication kicks in soon.  That should help, too.  I just took it.  My doctor really keeps on top of whether or not I’m climbing every day and this is why.  It’s my distress tolerance and emotion regulation go-to life-saving behavior!!!  It makes that much difference in my life!!!

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