The GriGri (un)packaging experience

If you’ve ever bought a Petzl GriGri new in the packaging, you may be able to identify with some of this.  At first glance, the GriGri’s professional, bright, and attractive packaging looks smashing while you’re letting someone run your credit card for the purchase, or inserting the card into the chip reader yourself to buy it.  You hurriedly grab the receipt and sit down in your car or at the table in the gym to unpackage your new toy.  I would be really surprised if you got all the way home before attempting to take the packaging off, but if it was delivered by UPS or some other delivery service, I’ll give you that one.  Regardless of where this occurs, you begin with the cardboard.  Once that’s off, you realize that there’s a strange, somewhat translucent, whitish plastic ring that keeps the GriGri closed.  You pull on it.  It doesn’t budge.  It flexes, but it’s not coming off.  Okay…  Maybe it twists off or unscrews?  You try that.  It turns, but it’s still not coming off.  You begin to pry on it gently, thinking that maybe a bit of pressure would help whatever mechanism it was put on with to reverse its action and cause this mysterious ring to let go of your GriGri so you can play with it.  No such luck.  Okay.  Now you’re frustrated.  How the hell did they get this thing ON there?!  And how does it come OFF?!?!  You outright manhandle the plastic ends of this ring and it still refuses to comply with your desperate attempts to make it release its hold on your new, improved belay device.  You’re fit to be tied!!!  WHO DOES THIS TO A PERSON?!?!  THIS IS INHUMANE!!!

It is at this point that I grabbed the boxcutter.  This would require some refined movement, a lot of force, and some intense thought on which angle to cut at as not to sever an artery if and when the razor blade was going to slip off of that slick plastic ring!!!  I hacked at it and sawed at it, making slow, but noticeable progress.  I continued to apply as much controlled force as possible to the boxcutter blade without breaking the blade or slipping so far off the ring with it that I cut my own hand off.  Finally, I prevailed!  Sweating and out of breath, I ripped the ring off and pulled the other end out with evil glee!  Take THAT, you monstrosity!!!  Then I was happy, opening and closing my GriGri cover for a full half hour after freeing it from its bondage.  LAUGH IF YOU CAN IDENTIFY…

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